My nipple is on Facebook.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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