that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Are we still banned from the library?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
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