sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize