i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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