She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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