Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
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he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
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Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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