So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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