She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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