you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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