So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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