You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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