I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
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Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
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He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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