I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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