Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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