the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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