**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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