Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick very happy bro
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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