We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
now i know why i became what i already was.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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