Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
this is an emotional support booty call
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize