Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
time to smoke my breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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