Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
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there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
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I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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