Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize