I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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