So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You ruined the universe
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize