Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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