So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
should my penis look like a turkey
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i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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