I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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