she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize