He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
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