how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Randomize