Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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