The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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