Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
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The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
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He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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