Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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