Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize