Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize