i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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