I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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