i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I had to cum in my sink.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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