Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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