i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize