We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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