he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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