I must be too annoying 4 u.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize