Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
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Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
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Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You were trust falling into bushes
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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