I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize