I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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