Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize