You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize