"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize